I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
