Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
