She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize