I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
