the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
