She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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