He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize