i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
