Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize