Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
