Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
It was like getting head from an anaconda
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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