I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
