i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
