I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
