is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
