whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
