I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
the day after is always just damage control
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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