I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
