if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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