If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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