Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
