I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Fuck appropriateness.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
