It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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