are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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