It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
