I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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