We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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