i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize