guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
birth control should be required to get into college
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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