all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
