Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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