so let's talk penis.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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