oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
