question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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