If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
