I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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