um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
i need some magic done to my vagina
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
