Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Be still, my beating vagina.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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