remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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