Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize