I wanna bring you to show and tell
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
