the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
