you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize