dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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