the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
She made me pour olive oil on her.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
