I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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