turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
