Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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