i just had sex bonerless
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
