Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
