I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
whose ass print is on the piano?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
