I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
