cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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