do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
