my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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