We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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