ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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