Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
