I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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