for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I see more hoeing in ur future
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