So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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