i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
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