This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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