2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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