We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
